Recently, a lot of people I know are getting married, having kids, or are entering relationships. I was having a conversation with a friend today about my relationship status and what I think of some of these relationships I'm seeing. I'm perfectly okay with being single (except when teachers give me unsolicited relationship advice. Then it's simply awkward.)I've never had my first kiss or been in a relationship. I'm not looking for a significant other, but what may happen, will happen. With all these weddings and baby showers and future engagements to look forward to celebrating with my friends, I've noticed a few things.
Society tells us, girls especially, that we need to be in a relationship to be happy, popular, or have some sort of status. This simply isn't true. As a Christian, I have to look at the perfect example: Jesus.
1) Jesus was better able to serve God because of his singleness. Jesus was able to devote more time and attention to his calling and the work of the Heavenly Father because he didn't have a physical family to focus on. He wasn't set on getting married, so he could focus on the present and future work of God with his life.
2) Jesus could devote more time to pouring into others because he didn't have a significant other. You know EXACTLY what I mean. Imagine this: your BEST friend in the ENTIRE world, the person you share your time and heart with gets a boy/girlfriend. Suddenly, you become a third wheel. And what's more, they stop talking to you and are too busy to hang out because of this new relationship. But, Jesus didn't cast anyone aside. He made time for everyone. He was able to spend time with more people than if he had a wife/girlfriend/kids to care for.
3) Jesus remained celibate until "death did he part" to set the standard that relationships aren't all about sex. Okay, we can have a bit more fun with this one. But in all seriousness, how many times in an hour do you see a commercial or hear a song using some form of seduction or implication of sex. We're challenged to "save ourselves" until marriage, because that's what makes marriage sacred. Society has become an "ease of access" society. Everything is, quite literally, at our fingertips. People can go and get married on a whim, and get a divorce just as quickly. With internet in our pockets, we can access facebook and email in a matter of seconds. What's to stop someone from looking up a xxx site in the same amount of time? Society encourages it, but Christ's life was lived with the intent to be counter-cultural.
4) Jesus was already a king, so a relationship wasn't going to give him higher status. It's come to my attention that being in a relationship automatically makes you better than someone else. Or, so it seems. While in biblical times having a family gave you some status, today's values have shifted. Jesus had a spiritual family. He had spiritual children and grandchildren, brothers and sisters. His status was not dependent on how many biological children he had or the number of wives he possessed (King David, Jacob... Anyone?) Now, I work with junior highers. I remember being in junior high, if you had a boy/girlfriend, you were all that and a bag of chips. Why? Seriously, could someone tell me why? Being in a relationship simply means you found someone you want to share your heart with. How does that invoke a status of being above anyone else? If someone could help me with this one, it'd be appreciated. My point is, in order for Jesus to make a difference and be important, he didn't need to be with anyone. He just needed to be himself, who he was called to be, and love everyone.
Ultimately, my singleness can only be an asset. Why live life thinking it's a handicap to be single?
By the way, my cats say 'hi.' Relationship status: Single, but committed to Christ and his work in and through my life.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
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