I have to admit to you a love of mine. It might even be a love of yours, and if it is, GOOD CHOICE! Being a poetic and lyrical person, I have a deep, deep love for the book of psalms. Psalms is fantastic, and if you've never read it, please do at least once in your lifetime. The psalms are my favorite because of how completely they are able to relate to everyday life. They have such intense meaning, and they really make you feel what the author was feeling at the time of its penning. Even more so, I love the psalms because I am a huge, HUGE fan of the life and character of David. David was a "man after God's own heart." Now, I'm a woman, but I would LOVE to be known that way: as "a woman after God's own heart." David started off low on the totem pole. He was the shepherd boy that no one brought to mind when they heard the word "king" and even "defeating the Philistine giant."
Psalm 13 is one of those passages that you can read in a time of great distress, but by the time you're finished reading it, you're so emotionally involved in it that your mood changes with the attitude of the passage. Let's have a look at it, shall we?
"How long, oh Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, oh Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me."
I can't imagine what David may have been going through when he wrote this! He felt like God had forgotten him. A KING felt like God had forgotten him. This incredibly powerful man, who had slain tens of thousands of men, was anointed by God, and defeated a giant, felt like God wasn't there. Wow. David didn't have it all together. David had a true yearning for God and an honesty with his pains that gives me hope. But, at times, I feel the same way David did. I feel forgotten by God. I feel like I can't see him. And I very much feel lost, confused, and troubled by my thoughts and the culmination of the things unclear in my life and heart.
Recently, a woman I look up to and trust my heart with prayed over me in my confusion. I didn't even know where to start. She asked for any examples, but the only thing I could say was "I don't know." You know how that feels? To not even know what you're confused about because there's so much else there? When she prayed, God gave her Psalm 13 to tell me. Psalm 13 is my current favorite passage in the entire bible. It relates so much to my life:
things are so unclear, I don't know what to do
I feel forgotten and lost
I feel like my enemies have it better than me and use it against me
but...
God's love for me is unfailing, even when I fail. I'm so grateful that I'm free by Christ's blood. I thank the Lord for the incredible friends he gave me that help me when I can't find my way. I sing to him, because he gave me a gift to give back to him.
When my friend said Psalm 13, my heart felt a burden being freed. Why? It reminded me of something I have personally found critical to my walk: when I feel like I'm at the lowest of low and there's no possible way I can get any further down, I need God to pull me up, and he'll only help me out of my pit if I ask him. The tears said it all - God has not forgotten me in my time of need. He gave me that verse because that was how I felt, but also because I needed the reminder that when I feel that way, even if I don't get answers, he'll bring me peace.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
The Truth Shall Set You Free
It's summer. The season I should be using for a break, I've taken as a chance to grow and learn by several different means. I'm taking summer classes in order to enjoy my school year while graduating next year and I'm interning at my church, being poured into by wonderful people while gaining valuable work experience and facing growing opportunities.
One of my tasks as an intern is to attend women's bible study every Tuesday night. Now, this might have been something I would do anyway, but being able to be a more involved part of it has definitely brought more of a sense of belonging to the group. Currently, we're going through a series by Beth Moore, a petite southern speaker who has an incredible fire and passion for God, called "Breaking Free." As it's Independence Day, we recognize the freedom isn't free at all. It takes giving something up.
This last week's homework for the series was the kind of homework that you hate to love because of how directly it speaks to you, but you can't seem to stop working on because you're so involved in it that you'd feel guilty for not completing it. It's all about finding freedom by becoming free of captivity that, to be honest, I wasn't aware that I faced. We need to identify our weaknesses so we begin to rely on God as our strength.
"We tend to think our weakness is stronger than God's strength." - Beth Moore
Why? WHY do we think that? We do know that it's called a WEAKness for a reason, right? But how often to we think that our problems are bigger than God? "He can't handle what I've been through." "I've just committed too big a sin to be forgiven." "How could He still love me when I haven't shown Him love?" Sound familiar? But I know my God is almighty. He is powerful and bigger than anything I could throw at Him. I've had, and will continue to have, my fair share of issues. I've felt weak, abandoned, alone. I've had to rely on strength other than my own to get me through some really trying times. And no doubt I'll have to go through those times again. In fact, I find the times that I need help most are when I have to be honest - with myself, and with others.
Honesty is freeing. It's tough and growing and requires vulnerability. I don't like to be vulnerable. I have to have trust God and rely on Him to feel comfortable sharing the truth with people. Even just how I'm doing requires leaning on Him that nothing bad will happen in my vulnerability. When I rely on Him and am honest, I find a freedom that keeping whatever it may be inside prevents.
My challenge to you today is be honest with yourself. What's holding you back from your full potential? Self-confidence issues? Family problems? Difficulty overcoming denial of something that you know will grow you, simply because it's not comfortable? God never promised us comfortable. He promised growth.
One of my tasks as an intern is to attend women's bible study every Tuesday night. Now, this might have been something I would do anyway, but being able to be a more involved part of it has definitely brought more of a sense of belonging to the group. Currently, we're going through a series by Beth Moore, a petite southern speaker who has an incredible fire and passion for God, called "Breaking Free." As it's Independence Day, we recognize the freedom isn't free at all. It takes giving something up.
This last week's homework for the series was the kind of homework that you hate to love because of how directly it speaks to you, but you can't seem to stop working on because you're so involved in it that you'd feel guilty for not completing it. It's all about finding freedom by becoming free of captivity that, to be honest, I wasn't aware that I faced. We need to identify our weaknesses so we begin to rely on God as our strength.
"We tend to think our weakness is stronger than God's strength." - Beth Moore
Why? WHY do we think that? We do know that it's called a WEAKness for a reason, right? But how often to we think that our problems are bigger than God? "He can't handle what I've been through." "I've just committed too big a sin to be forgiven." "How could He still love me when I haven't shown Him love?" Sound familiar? But I know my God is almighty. He is powerful and bigger than anything I could throw at Him. I've had, and will continue to have, my fair share of issues. I've felt weak, abandoned, alone. I've had to rely on strength other than my own to get me through some really trying times. And no doubt I'll have to go through those times again. In fact, I find the times that I need help most are when I have to be honest - with myself, and with others.
Honesty is freeing. It's tough and growing and requires vulnerability. I don't like to be vulnerable. I have to have trust God and rely on Him to feel comfortable sharing the truth with people. Even just how I'm doing requires leaning on Him that nothing bad will happen in my vulnerability. When I rely on Him and am honest, I find a freedom that keeping whatever it may be inside prevents.
My challenge to you today is be honest with yourself. What's holding you back from your full potential? Self-confidence issues? Family problems? Difficulty overcoming denial of something that you know will grow you, simply because it's not comfortable? God never promised us comfortable. He promised growth.
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