It's Not Vacation... I'm Still Working On Myself.

This last week, I had the awesome opportunity to go to Hunters, Washington, to participate in a VBS at Cedonia Community Church (check 'em out here: http://cedoniachurch.blogspot.com/) as a crew leader. Now, I have to be honest: that position was not my first choice. See, as a junior high leader, Pre-K/K team member, and the various other areas of small group leadership I've had, I had "crew leader" down. I felt the need to grow elsewhere. But, I was placed as a crew leader. I was actually rather upset with that fact, but, because I knew that the devil would use it against me, I decided that I would go wherever I was needed with a servant mentality, since the trip was never about me anyway.

The very first night, we did foot washing at evening devos. The leaders went around the circle, washing the volunteers feet and praying over them. After I was prayed over, I hurried to the basement. It was quiet, and no one could hear me, so I walked around, talking to God, explaining to Him how I felt (even though I'm sure He already knew) while crying. I told Him I wasn't sure what He was doing, but I knew He had a plan. I know He still does, as I still have that longing to be beyond where I was - having a desire to grow in more areas.

But have you ever felt that way? Like you're supposed to be put somewhere and when you're not, you're kind of bitter and angry about it? It's almost like you feel God's telling you "this is where I want you" but when it doesn't happen, you get kind of frustrated and confused? That's where I was. I thought, "God, you said these were your plans for me, but I'm still at this spot. What are you doing? I thought you said this was how it was supposed to be."

It wasn't until A) I talked to someone about it and B) until I could overcome my bitterness that I really saw what God was doing. I had the mentality that THIS is where I would be at THIS time. But that wasn't God's timing. I still believe He has that plan for me. And now I know to WAIT patiently. Yet, how many times do we try to hurry up God's plans for us? We just disappoint ourselves and go through more hurt than we really need to go through. We have to learn to wait on God, and He will bring about His plans at the right time - the point where it will bring Him the most glory.