Life in the Single Lane: Part 2

Recently, I've been attending Life Center church on Sunday mornings. The series we're in is called "The Meaning of Marriage," based on the book of the same name by Timothy Keller. Now, I'm single. Very single. This has since become a struggle for me. Formerly, the church I had attended seemed to be all about relationships. And while I wouldn't mind friendship and fellowship, their focus was on a different kind of relationship. It was shocking to people when someone of my age was single. Marriage became a sort of status and people definitely treated you differently for being single. Now, being single and hearing this series, it brings a new perspective.

Here's what I've learned:
1) It IS possible to take and apply characteristics of marriage to your daily walk with God as a single person. The book of Isaiah seems to be filled with the image of a bridegroom and bride, likening it to the relationship between ourselves and Christ. In a marriage, there should be love unconditionally, forgiveness, closeness, and vulnerability. That's what God wants with us. We have to be vulnerable with him, forgive ourselves, and believe He loves us unconditionally with loving Him in return. The pastor giving the talks during this series isn't exclusive with his sermon. He includes challenges for the single people, as well as the couples, to deepen not only our understanding of the message, but also our faith in and love of our "bridegroom."

2) The commitment of a marriage relationship is supposed to be like that of our relationship with Christ. Referencing his own vows, the pastor proceeded to say, "Your spouse should always be your second love - only second to Christ." So, really, as long as Christ is my first love, I'm not missing out on too much. It's a lifelong commitment. You can walk away if you so choose, but it won't make you any happier. In fact, it might do the opposite to you.

3) Why not commit your life to Christ? He committed His for you! I feel like this doesn't need much explanation. Christ LOVED you so much he DIED for you. He committed his life for YOUR benefit. He didn't willingly do it either. Before you completely disagree with me, check out Luke 22:42 (NIV) - "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." (See also: Matt. 26:39) He didn't want to go through with it. He asked for the suffering to pass him over. But he still obeyed his Father's plan. I ask myself, "if God asked me to die for the people who hurt me, would I?" Honestly, I don't know if I would. It's REALLY easy to sacrifice your desires for people who are kind to you and love you. But God didn't promise easy. Just like in any relationship, there will be times where you disagree, want to walk away, want to fight back. And you certainly can. That won't change the fact that God is so committed to you that He will NEVER walk away, even if you walk away from Him.

4) Being single isn't a handicap. No, really. It doesn't make you any less of a person just because you have yet to find your "other half." Sure there are benefits to being married. But there are also benefits to being single - spending time building "outside" relationships, pouring into other people, focusing on loving God wholeheartedly, to name a few.

5) When you give Christ your heart, any hurt that may come along is easily healed. I think this is a great time to bring in a possibly bad analogy. It's much better for someone to have a heart attack in a hospital than be hours away from the nearest help. When you're near the "spiritual doctor," your fragile and wounded heart is much more readily helped.

My focus shouldn't be on finding a husband. My focus needs to be on finding the love of Christ so purely that it doesn't matter what stage of relationship I'm in; that Christ love fills me so fully loving another becomes a goal and treasure - not an obligation.

Until next time.