My church has been going through a series called "BC: Stories From the Thick Part of Your Bible." We've been taking and pulling apart various stories from the old testament and relating them to our lives today. Moses and the Red Sea - I've heard that story dozens of times growing up and dozens more as a teacher in Sunday school, but never had I heard it quite like I did. You see, Moses was only a willing vessel. He wasn't anyone terribly special. In fact, he was an outcast, a murderer, and a stutterer. But God used him. You see, Moses didn't part the Red Sea - God did. And this story has a pretty happy ending, but it took trusting God to get them to the other side of the water.
For those who don't know the details of the story, Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt after the ten plagues. It took TEN hardships for Pharaoh to let his slaves go free. But he changed his mind after God's people had left, so he led an army after the Israelites to capture them and oppress them once more. God wasn't about to let that happen, so He put a pillar of smoke to guide His people during the day, and a pillar of fire by night. The Israelites thought they were free. That is, until they saw Pharaoh's army catching up to them. They were terrified. They may not have been slaves to Pharaoh bound by work, but they were slaves to Pharaoh bound by fear.
We all have things in our life that have shaped who we've become. We have fears and questions that bind us to where we used to be or where we might be right now. God has provided a way to free us. God showed His grace to the Israelites when He parted the Red Sea. Can you imagine?! Walking between these walls of water, eye to eye with whatever creatures may be dwelling in the dark, afraid they might crash down on you - what faith! They had to trust that going through this dark and scary place, already in fear of the people chasing them, God would keep them safe.
Sometimes, God allows us to struggle, to feel pain, to be afraid because He is showing us grace. I know that sounds kind of paradoxical, but trust me here. I struggled with this, too. I asked Him, "God, why did you allow my father to abandon me, instead of protecting me? Wouldn't it have been better for me to have a dad than to feel completely rejected?" This was His answer:
"My daughter, you and I both know it was for the better. I had great plans for you and being a part of that place, you would have never been in the position I needed you to be in for my plan to be fulfilled. You were made for that kind of greatness. Beloved, I call you my child - you have a father in me. I won't ever leave you and will love you always. You felt alone and scared and hurt. But I was there. You were protected - worse things could have happened, but I didn't let them. By my grace you were freed. I know it stings, Dear One, but what could have come would have hurt far more."You see, I liken it to going to the doctor after you've cut yourself. In cleaning your wound, they may use rubbing alcohol. That stuff HURTS when you pour it on a cut (or abrasion or the like). But it makes the injury better. It prevents deeper hurt. You allow the doctor to increase the pain for a moment because you know it will make your hurt better. And that's God's grace.
I don't always understand why I hurt and I often wonder why I had to hurt in the first place, but if I can remind myself it's God's grace preventing a worse struggle, it brings a bit of comfort to the pain. God never abandoned the Israelites. God never intentionally hurt the Israelites. In fact, God knew His people would see pain, and because He knew this, He provided an alternative. He allowed them to feel the lesser pain of life than the greater pain of death. God allowed me to see a lesser pain of abandonment than whatever the greater pain may have been. It's hard to accept, but knowing His grace has gotten me this far means more than any answer to the question, "why?"
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